I'm on day three of a fast, almost done with day three actually. Hours away from sleep and a whole new day. But I am trying so hard to talk myself into eating. It doesn't make any sense. I'm young and I could be beautiful. Why would I do anything to get in the way of that. I'm only losing time. I feel so helpless lately. Just giving in to food and wanting. And one day turns into another month that I've lost. Another month that I could have fasted. All these months wasted. I could be thin by now. I could be beautiful by now. I could happy by now.