Monday, March 30, 2009

Day 21

Today has been uneventful as was the rest of yesterday. My stomach has been a bit upset, but otherwise it's been an easy fasting day. I'm actually looking forward to class a lot today. Feeling kind of bored, I guess.

Listening to the good advice I've gotten from Lulu and belle svelte, I'm thinking I may end the fast just a couple days early. If I stop on the 8th, that will still be 30 days on water. I can do a couple days on juice, and then a couple days on fruits and veggies. I really don't want to gain back a whole bunch of weight.

So, my boyfriend did my taxes for me this weekend and I owe $700. I'm pretty stressed about this because I don't have any of that money. My boyfriend offered to pay it for me and I'd pay him back. But I hate to be in debt to him. It just seems so weird. If I don't have any other options though, I may have to accept his offer.

Holly, I'm sorry you've had such a struggle. Were you just doing a water fast or a juice fast? It would probably be easier for you to start with juice. I'm not sure it's common for you to feel so weak so early on in the fast. Fasting may not be an option for you. Maybe consider doing a raw fruit and vegetable diet instead. Good luck if you decide to try again. Sometimes difficult things take practice.

Amy-Louise, asked for tips to manage willpower. There is a certain mindset that allows me to fast. I have started a few fasts that were total busts because I didn't have the right mindset. Starting the fast is the hard part, once I get past like the fourth day I'm pretty much set to go. I still get cravings, but nothing that can't be fought.

I think in order to successfully get a fast going, you need to prepare. Do your own research, read testimonies from others who have fasted. Get yourself inspired and totally motivated. I find it easier to fast when I'm busy. It's easy to give up when I'm bored and sitting around with a fridge full of food. And of course, blogging about is also a huge help in keeping myself on track.

I hope that will be helpful for you. I have a few others posts that have fasting info if you're interested.

I hope all of you are having more exciting Mondays than I am. <3!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Hitches in the Plan

Day Twenty!

Day twenty is pretty exciting. Only twelve days until the last day of Water. Twelve days seems like nothing after twenty. I weighed yesterday and I had lost almost six pounds in six days. That's not as much as I wanted, less than last week. I'm wondering if the multivitamin could work against me. This week I'm ditching the vitamin to see how that goes. I'm aiming for twelve more pounds by the end of this, which seems pretty do-able.

I've discovered one hitch in my fasting plan however. I may be spending Easter with my boyfriend's family and I'm sure some ridiculously fattening meal will be involved. I toyed with the idea of quitting a week early to prepare for Easter, but I'm just not willing to give up my fast. There's a chance I may not go anyway. If I do, I may fake an upset stomach so I can get away with just drinking juice. We'll see what happens.

I only have one more weekend besides Easter to spend with my boyfriend, which is a very very good thing. I made a bit of a mistake with him this weekend. I went to his house Friday evening and didn't leave until Saturday evening. I didn't eat a single thing, though he kept offering me food. I shouldn't have stayed that long, but I just didn't want to leave. When I finally did, he told me he was worried about me since I'd been there 24 hours and hadn't eaten at all. If only he knew how many hours it's actually been. Oh well. This weekend I'll just have to go there late and leave early. The fast will be over soon.

Holly, good job on making it two days. The first days of the fast are always the hardest. As far as fasting under 18, I haven't read a lot about this limitation. I have read accounts of people under 18 fasting. My opinion on the matter is that 18 is not a magic number just because the law says this is adulthood. I know I stopped getting taller in the sixth grade. My body has been physically mature for a long time. If I were 16, I wouldn't hesitate to fast, but it's your body and you'll know it best. If you are concerned, make a doctor's appointment and talk about your desire to fast. You can make up some crap about spiritual reasons and the desire to cleanse your body. Whatever. A lot of sources advise doing this no matter how old you are.

I hope this is helpful. I'm sorry I don't have a very solid answer for you.

Thanks to all of you who are reading and commenting. I'm sorry my weekends suck so much for blogging. But I'm off to go blog reading and will be catching up today. <3

Thursday, March 26, 2009

No Time

I don't have much time to write or read today, but I just wanted to post something at least. It's day Seventeen. Just a few days left until I get to March. And then the rest of my fast in April should go by quickly. I'm counting the days til the first. I do well by latching on to those smaller goals.

We had a blizzard today and classes were canceled. At first I was so excited, but then I just sort of wasted my day. Couldn't drive anywhere and my roommate has been here all day so I feel so restricted. That's why I don't have much time for this. Don't want to be blogging about starving with my roommate right next to me. School will be closed tomorrow too, so probably have the same problem. Hopefully I'll find something better to do with my time.

I did manage to workout finally when my roommate went to have dinner. It was pretty intense, but I figured I'd work extra hard since I'd been so lazy today and didn't have class. I actually started feeling really faint at one point, but I drank some water and worked through it.

It has to be worth it.
Okay, that's it. I will read up when I can. Stay gorgeous, girls! <3

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Plans and Experiments

The days are moving right along. Day Sixteen already. I have decided on a firm plan. I am setting it in stone and won't let anything change it. I will continue my water fast until Good Friday which is the 10th. Then I'll do juice until Easter. Not very long for juice, but then I'll have almost a week to do the raw fruits and vegetables diet.

I started my fast a bit late for lent, but I will still be doing 32 days of water fasting. It's kind of cool to say I gave up calories for lent. Maybe next year I'll be able to go the whole way.

Last week, I didn't take the multivitamin I had been taking (One-A-Day Weightsmart), only because I just forgot about it. But this week I'm going to take it every day. It supposedly boosts your metabolism, but I don't know what sort of difference that it will actually make. We'll see! I'm also going to work out, which I'm pretty sure will make a difference, so there's no real way of knowing if the vitamin is helping. Oh well. I lost 8 and half pounds last week, my goal this week is just to lose more. It'd be so great to lose 10 pounds in just a week.

Yesterday my workout was pretty random. I just did whatever I could think of while I watched Law and Order, heh. I get so weak, I can't do one excercise for very long stretches, but I was able to stay moving for the whole hour and got a sweat going. Afterwards, I felt so drained I just lay on the couch and vegged out to recover. I had enough energy to make it through class a couple hours later, but I could definitely feel the difference. Hopefully, I will the fruits of my labor on the scale this weekend.

Savory, you're so cute. I'm happy you're able to use me as inspiration. That puts the pressure on for me to not mess up. Thank goodness you caught that your/you're fiasco! That could have been ugly. In answer to your question, I don't weigh because I don't own a scale. My boyfriend and I have outrageously different schedules, so I only get to see him on weekends this term. So when I spend the night, I sneak a weigh on his scale in the mornings. I sometimes feel like I'm suffering for it, but I do think numbers can be misleading a lot of the time. Especially if we weigh every day. Once a week is really plenty. I think you get a more accurate picture of how you're actually doing if you wait.

Thanks for all the other comments. I'm looking forward to reading y'alls blogs now. Hopefully my comments can be inspiring too. <3

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

French Fry Dreams

Day Fifteen.

Still starving. Last night I had a food dream. During my last fast I had them all the time. I dreamed of eating and breaking my fast and then I would feel so guilty in my dream. The dreams were always so vivid and felt so real and when I woke up I would still have the guilty feeling with me. It was actually helpful because it definitely made me not want to cheat.

In my dream last night, I was eating something really gross from a mall food court. Ew. It's strange that I could dream of all sorts of amazing food, but my crazy mind chooses to dream of really crappy french fries. Oh well, I'm not feeling tempted in the least. I wish I could weigh though. Waiting a week is tortorous!

I'm already having to juggle my weekend to avoid spending too much time with anyone. It totally sucks. Last week my boyfriend was really trying to feed me, which he doesn't normally do. I'm afraid he's already suspicious.

Yesterday I did some research on extended water fasts. I read about people doing water fasts for 90 days. Geeze. There was a guy who weighed like 400 pounds and got down to 200. Isn't that amazing, just three months to completely change your life. After 3-5 days, your body stops actually feeling hungry. Any hunger or cravings will just be spychological. Apparently, you won't have any hunger pains until your body runs out of fat to burn. There are people who water fast until every single pound of fat is gone. That sounds so cool. I wish I had the freedom to do that, but I'd pretty much have to abandon all of my relationships.

Anyway, your comments are truly wonderful. I'm so thankful to be a member of this community. You keep me strong! <3

Monday, March 23, 2009

Extending the Water

It's been far too long since I've written, but I had some computer issues and then an incredibly busy weekend. Plus still trying to avoid my roommate seeing this; it's harder to avoid her on weekends.

Anyway today is day Fourteen! It's really going by quickly. I'm definitely feeling much more renewed than I was last time I posted. Weighing definitely did the trick. I decided to continue on the water fast until I could weigh because I wanted an accurate picture of how much I was losing just on water. Eight and a half pounds in one week and it wasn't even the first week! I'm so thrilled. This is way way more than I was losing on the juice fast. I don't ever want to stop fasting now.

I'm going to keep on water at least until April and just do a week of juice before I start incorporating foods. I have to be ready for real food at least by April 18th. I'll probably change my plans twenty more times before then. I'm just feeling obsessed with being as skinny as possible for my boyfriend's birthday. My jeans are practically falling off me now, which I love even though I know they look terrible. And my neck is starting to look so amazing, my bones are so pronounced. I'm thinking I may splurge and buy something new and small to wear for him.

My trip to the zoo ended up going fine and it was easy to avoid going out to eat. Thanks especially to Kat for the encouragement on that front. It really is hard to give up on friends and relationship for the sake of starving.

KQ, thanks for stopping by and for the encouragement. To answer your question about working out, no I don't work out while I fast. Water fasting is pretty intense and very energy draining. I go to culinary school and my classes are six hours long. Six hours running around an intense kitchen is enough to leave me totally exhausted by the time it's over when all I have for energy is water. My classes go to late at night, so working out in the day just wouldn't leave me enough energy to make it through class. I do play around with weights a little bit, but when I do my goal isn't to totally wear myself out, if that makes sense.

Everyone's body is different so your energy levels during a fast will be different. I think it's important to stay active, but also important to reserve energy. You don't want to call attention to yourself by over doing it. It's a personal thing to know what your body can handle, just have to carefully test it out.

Thanks for all your encouragement and comments. I love you gals! <3

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Ninth day. Another day of starving. The days keep going by, but I'm not feeling so inspired now. I just wish I could weigh to give myself some hope. It's awful to have to wait a week. Yesterday I felt so weak and tired during class, I wasn't quite sure I could make it. Hopefully it will be better next week once I'm on juice.

My boyfriend and I are going to the zoo on Saturday and now his sister is going to be joining us. Apparently she mentioned going to dinner afterward, which would be great, except I'm due to be starving that day. I figure I can avoid food at the zoo, especially since I will have just come from a Saturday baking class and can say that I ate a lot of bread, but there's nothing I can do if we all go out to eat. So I had to tell my boyfriend that I didn't want to eat out with his sister. I still feel awful. And this is certainly not helping my motivation.

It's starting to not feel so worth it.

I just have to hold out until I can weigh. Good numbers will keep me going. I hope everyone is doing great and had a fun St. Patrick's Day. Stay strong and Thin!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Day eight is going fine, still just sipping my water. But I'm really feeling tired and drained now. I've been sleeping so much the last few days. Being on just water for this long is definitely an energy zapper. But I just keep thinking about all the energy my body is pulling from my fat. I can't wait to weigh on Saturday!

Lulu ( left a very encouraging comment, but also asked about metabolism and whether I'm worried about it dropping. This is definitely an issue with fasting. It will cause your metabolism to slow down significantly. This is why breaking a fast can actually be harder than doing the fast.

It's incredibly easy to gain weight after a fast, as I found out after my last one. The important thing is to very slowly reintroduce foods to your body, starting with nutrient dense, low calorie foods such as raw fruits and vegetables. Your metabolism will go back up if you give it time. Also weight training is a great way to increase your metabolism.

When I was doing all my research about fasting and the benefits, I read that fasting cleans out your body so well that it is able to run better. It said that it can actually improve your metabolism in the long run, though this is assuming you don't immediately pollute your body with bad foods right after the fast.

Basically a successful fast depends as much on the weeks after as it does on the weeks during. I'm still trying to figure out when I'm going to end mine. I'm thinking that I will end it on Sunday the 5th of April. That will give me two weeks before my boyfriend's birthday to work my way up to a more normal diet. Hopefully I can avoid gaining after the fast.

I hope this answers your question, Lulu. And I hope you're not scared away from fasting. I still think it is quite a powerful weight loss method. Thanks so much to other commenters!

Stay strong and beautiful ladies! <3

Monday, March 16, 2009

Past the Hump

Day Seven! Whew! I'm very excited because I'm almost done with the water part. And the time has just been going by so fast. I had some unsuccessful small fasts in between now and my juice fast and I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to pull off another long fast. But I think seven days is definitely well over the hard part. I don't feel hungry at all anymore and I'm not feeling as sick as I did the last time. I wonder if the multivitamin is helping with that.

Also, I have lost a ton of weight. I was able to weigh yesterday at my boyfriend's. I had gained at least ten pounds maybe even more from spring break and Valentine's day (ew!) and now I've lost all of that plus a couple more, and it's only been seven days. Water fasting is amazing. I almost hate to start drinking juice, though I'm sure I'll need the energy soon.

Last night I went to a salsa dancing lesson the school was doing. I couldn't get any of my friends to go, so I almost didn't. I decided to go alone and I'm so glad I did. It was a blast! Plus, a ton of exercise. I'd really love to take some dancing lessons, but I'm not sure I could afford it. I'll just have to see how I do on money in the next couple of weeks, but I'd love to burn calories in a fun way.

I don't have much time to read and comment today so I'll be sure to catch up tonight. As always, your comments are wonderful and I love you all for it! I hope everyone is doing great and thinking thin! <3

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Day Five

Day five! Half way there. It feels like the days are going by very quickly. It's good to be busy during a fast. Yesterday went fine. I did taste a couple of things we made because I'm planning to make something for my boyfriend's birthday and I wanted to know if they were any good. It was only two bites and I spit them both out.

Today my tongue has started getting the weird white coating on it from fasting. It's my least favorite side effect of a fast because I get really self conscious about kissing, but I was kind of happy to see it this morning. It's a sign of what I'm doing. A sign of the control.

I'm going to see my boyfriend tonight. It's been like three weeks since I've seen him. I'm very needy, so that's a very long time for me. But I have to show up at his house a bit late to avoid having to eat, and I'll have to leave early tomorrow for the same reason. I have to keep reminding myself that it's so worth it. Part of my birthday present to him will be a skinnier me. He'd never admit it, but I know he'll like that.

Something strange happened to Internet Explorer on this computer. I was making comments on y'all's blogs and they weren't showing up. And I made a long post that also didn't show up. I downloaded Firefox and I'm back in business, but I can't get the history to clear out of Explorer and I'm a little paranoid about my roommate or someone stumbling across this blog.

So today will be my catchup day on reading and commenting. Thanks to everyone who's been commenting on my blog and encouraging me. It means a lot and it's such a huge help. Holly is definitely right that we are stronger together. Also, Holly, I would love for you to get in on the fasting action with Jenna and me!

To answer your question about daily multivitamins - Most of the research I've done, which is quite a lot, on fasting has said that any medication or vitamins shouldn't be taken during a fast. Most sources all seem to say that a ten day water fast is really all that is healthy and some even say that water fasting at all isn't healthy. If we're only talking about a water fast, you aren't going to become nutrient deprived in ten days.

When we move into juice fasts however, thirty days is the standard. But there are plenty of people who advocate longer juice fasts. People do juice fasts all the way up to 100 days and beyond. That's a long time. And it seems like you could certainly suffer from that many days without proper nutrients. Most of these fasting sources say that fresh juice made from a juicer and consumed right away is the only way to go. Fresh juice does have a ton more nutrients than bottled juice, but I don't have a juicer and certainly can't afford to dish out the money for one. I do think that if you're drinking a variety of fresh juices you definitely don't need any sort of vitamins.

On my last fast, I didn't take any multivitamins and I was drinking bottled juice (always the no sugar added pure juice stuff that I watered down). It didn't seem to have any bad effects on me, but this time I've been taking One-A-Day Weightsmart. I love that pill. When this fast is over, I will compare to my first one and see which method worked best. I don't think that a multivitamin will ruin a fast either way you go really.

Okay. Off to go blog reading! <3 you all and the amazing Thinspiration you give me!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Third Water Day

I've made it to day three successfully. Day two was exceptionally easy, which is hard to believe because day one was kind of excruciating. Plus I started my first day of Bread class. Not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I'm going to culinary school. Crazy for an Ana girl, but I love cooking.

There's no better feeling of control than cooking some amazing dish or meal and not eating a single bite. And that is what I spent six hours doing yesterday! We made muffins, corn bread, wheat bread, multi-grain bread, baguettes, dinner rolls, zucchini bread, and two different types of pound cake. The amazing thing is that I didn’t even want it. I didn’t feel deprived. I’m definitely in the right sort of mood for fasting. It’s perfect.

And Jenna (of Resolve to Dissolve) has also started a 10 day fast. It’s great to have a buddy for support. It’s a lot easier when there’s someone there with you. I’m feeling so good about this fast, I’d be devastated if I let it get away from me.

Hopefully today will go as well as yesterday. And hopefully you all are doing well with your plans!


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Today is the second day of my ten day fast. I did okay yesterday. I only had water, but I did do some chew and spit action, which I hate. For one, because it's gross. And even more because it takes away from the feeling of control that I need. I was really careful, thoroughly washing out my mouth, but it still feels like cheating even though I didn't swallow.

Today I won't do that. I've been reading lots and lots of blogs. I'm trying to get caught up and comment on everyone's. I've also been looking around Kat's (of Quest for Perfection) for new Pro-Ana websit, which is absolutely gorgeous and very well done! I definitely suggest checking it out.

You girls are all just such amazing Thinspiration. Yesterday I wanted to justify breaking the fast so many times. It was only the first day and felt like the greatest struggle. Today I am Thinspired! I feel so good. I was watching TV earlier and saw a commercial for all this greasy IHOP food, and it actually made me nauseous. I have zero desire for food today and I feel so powerful. I love it.

I've come up with my plan for the rest of this month and most of next. I will continue on my ten day water fast until the 19th. On the 20th I will start a month long juice fast. My boyfriend's birthday is on the 20th of April and there is no way I can avoid eating then, so my juice fast will end up being like 26 or 27 days so I have enough time to get used to small amounts of food.

This is going to be very hard, but I feel like I can do it. If anyone would like to join me on either of my fasts or just do a different plan, I'd love the company.

Stay strong, girls! <3

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ages Ago

I am back from my spring break at home and am ready to get back to weightloss. I was too afraid to weigh myself in the last few days of my trip. I had to eat out a lot and have lots of family dinners and ugh.
I feel like a blimp.

The only thing to do is starve. I'm starting another fast! This time I'm going to do a ten day water fast. It's supposed to have the same detox benefits as a 30 day juice fast, but is much more intense. I really really want to cleanse all of those Southern home cooked meals out of me.

I haven't decided what I'll do after the ten days exactly. I will definitely switch over to a juice fast for a bit. The good news is that with my new school schedule I hardly see my roommate, so it should be easy to fast.

I hate that I've been away so long. It seriously works against me. I am much stronger when have the support of all you gals and have to write my successes and failures down.

So far I haven't eaten anything, but it's only 9am. I wanted to start my fast yesterday, but I gave in when I got back from the airport. I resisted homemade barbeque and leftover Chinese food only to give in to a gross potato chip at the end of the day. So stupid. But today is a new day and I have all of you again!

<3 It's good to be back! Keep Starving!