I haven't really mentioned this to y'all before because it seems to move far away from my chosen blog topic. But I'm a phone sex operator. I've been doing it since I turned 18 to pay for school and all. It's a pretty good gig: I can work whenever I want, make a ton of money in a very short time, and I'm really good at it. I may not be anywhere near happy with my body, but I have a pretty great voice.
Anyway, it's a pretty well guarded secret. I tell the people I'm close to, friends, boyfriend. But my family does not know. However my mother is a horrible awful snoop and she looked at my bank statements. When I was home over spring break I discovered this slip of paper where she'd written down some deposits made from my phone sex money. This just confirmed my suspicions that she knew. She's made some hints. It's been like this intense standoff. She knows about it, I know she knows about it, and we're both pretending we don't know anything. I've just been waiting, dreading the moment when she'll use the knowledge against me.
This week I'm house sitting for my Aunt and I figured while I had the house to myself I could make a little bit of money, since I haven't been able to get a job for the summer. Ugh. I'm so stupid! Stupid. My aunt's phone and my home phone have the same first six numbers. And I accidently put my home phone number in. So my first call went to my mom! Luckily it's initially a recording robot voice, not an actual customer. But still. God. Maybe this is just the amunition my mom's been waiting for. Or maybe she slept through it, or thought it was a telemarker. Maybe she's rehearsing her storm of anger so that it will be sure kill me when she unleashes it. Or maybe I should go find a hole to crawl in and die.
I'm freaking out so bad. I feel sick to my stomach. I tried to call my boyfriend to freak out to him, but he's asleep and won't answer. I wish I had someone else to call.
I don't want to wake up tomorrow and have to face this.