Saturday, July 18, 2009

Rebirth! Kinda, a little bit.

Today I feel good. Moreover, I feel inspired. I feel happy. I feel like I'm in control again. Like really. In control. I haven't felt like this all summer, even during the short fasts I've done. In order for me to do a successful fast, there has to be something that just clicks inside me and makes it easy. I've been waiting for it to happen all summer, but I think it's been stifled by being home, surrounded by food and family, and all the stress and disappointment I feel about my summer not going at all the way I planned.

I will starve myself thin.
I will lose enough weight for my boyfriend to notice.
I will I will I will I will Iwill I will I will

I have more family coming into town this week and again next week. Ridiculous. I plan to use the raw fruit/veggie diet excuse to get out of eating family dinners which are the worst. I'd like to make it through the rest of July secretly fasting and then I can openly fast through August. Or something. I can't plan things exactly when I'm so surrounded by people who want to fatten me up. Damn.

I've neglected the blog world since I've been sulking underneath this black cloud, but I'll do some catching up today. Swear.

P.S. I promise to do put together some information on fasting in my next post, specifically extended fasting (like more than ten days) for those of you who have asked for it.


  1. Yay, I'm so glad you've "clicked". I find I'm the same. Sometimes I just can't manage to stick to my plans and I feel like at fat failure. But it really does feels like there's a mental switch that really drives me, and once it's flicked on it is just so easy not to eat.

    Best of luck surviving the family

  2. ditto pasco on being happy for you, the click is the best, i want it back so bad!

    maybe when the extra family come you should announce on the first day that you ate a chicken burger last night and now your stomach feels really dodgy. Keep running to the bathroom and they'll all be so embarrassed about you fake diarrhoea that they wont say anything if you dont wanna eat much?

  3. Wow, nice one,that click is amazing, and then the goddess of fat and ugly comes and throws obsatacles in the way, sigh she is a jealous cow!

  4. i have the same thing, something has to click, also have the same thing with my bf. he has to notice otherwise i havnt achieved anything