Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Off Topic Freak Out

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god

I haven't really mentioned this to y'all before because it seems to move far away from my chosen blog topic. But I'm a phone sex operator. I've been doing it since I turned 18 to pay for school and all. It's a pretty good gig: I can work whenever I want, make a ton of money in a very short time, and I'm really good at it. I may not be anywhere near happy with my body, but I have a pretty great voice.

Anyway, it's a pretty well guarded secret. I tell the people I'm close to, friends, boyfriend. But my family does not know. However my mother is a horrible awful snoop and she looked at my bank statements. When I was home over spring break I discovered this slip of paper where she'd written down some deposits made from my phone sex money. This just confirmed my suspicions that she knew. She's made some hints. It's been like this intense standoff. She knows about it, I know she knows about it, and we're both pretending we don't know anything. I've just been waiting, dreading the moment when she'll use the knowledge against me.

This week I'm house sitting for my Aunt and I figured while I had the house to myself I could make a little bit of money, since I haven't been able to get a job for the summer. Ugh. I'm so stupid! Stupid. My aunt's phone and my home phone have the same first six numbers. And I accidently put my home phone number in. So my first call went to my mom! Luckily it's initially a recording robot voice, not an actual customer. But still. God. Maybe this is just the amunition my mom's been waiting for. Or maybe she slept through it, or thought it was a telemarker. Maybe she's rehearsing her storm of anger so that it will be sure kill me when she unleashes it. Or maybe I should go find a hole to crawl in and die.

I'm freaking out so bad. I feel sick to my stomach. I tried to call my boyfriend to freak out to him, but he's asleep and won't answer. I wish I had someone else to call.

I don't want to wake up tomorrow and have to face this.


  1. Omgod! I'm so sorry. It's like there's a giant elephant in the room that's visible, but no one wants to talk about it. Ooooooof. I bet your mom wants you to make the first misstep so you can't blame her for "snooping"...even tho she clearly has!

    I can't believe she looked at your bank statements. Ooof.

    Anyway, prayers for you dearest! I hope you make it through, I can't imagine the state you're in!!!

    let's hope your mom doesn't know a thing!

  2. What a snoopy mom.

    You'll make it through. But see, you probably fueled her anger.. because the only option you didnt mention is that your mom may think you did that on purpose to like taunt her into saying something first, or just to like say haha i know you know. But idk.

    It'll be okay. It's none of her business what you do. You're a legal adult and you arent married. Lol. Dont worry about it. :P

  3. Eek! I'm on the edge of my seat ova here! My fingers are crossed for you! But at least it's just on the phone, right? It's not like you're a stripper or a hooker! Surely your mom will be somewhat reasonable about it all?

    Good Luck!!

  4. It'll be fine. I suppose if she does confront you - whats the worst she can do? - then just hold your head high and tell her that its really none of her business and that your not going to talk about it [thats what i would do].

    I know this is not the same thing but i suppose its a similar type of confrontation ~ my parents once found embarassingly raunchy photographs of me and boyfriend - it was awful to have my dad mention it to me [over dinner!]..but I got over it pretty quickly.

  5. You are probably making loads more money than you would waiting tables or working at a drive thru! Your mum should be proud of you for being innovative and creative (I know in reality that doesn't help the situation :-))

    Maybe you should just come clean, write her a letter or something, explain to her that you are a big girl, and the reason you are doing this is for a better life down the line, and the way you do it is totally anomynous. If she already knows you can gain some trust.

  6. That sounds like an awesome job. D: If I didn't have a man-voice, I'd be interested. (lol)

  7. my sister is such a snoop, i know exactly how annoying and freak-out-worthy it can be, but i know you handled it super.

    you'll get through this, have no fear. you rock!

  8. Hah, going through the same thing. I just realized that my dad knows I've been arrested.

    Anyway, it seems like complete crap now but I'm sure you'll work through it. That's all we can do, right?

  9. Ooo July 22nd was a while ago. I hope your mother hasn't murdered you..