47 to go....

I don't want to write about this. I really really don't. It would have been so easy to keep going and pretend it didn't happen. But it did happen. I know because my throat is still burning. Three purges in one freaking day. What the hell is that? It's not me.

I can starve myself. I can go weeks and weeks without eating. I can embrace the permanent headache, the upset stomach, the dizziness, the weakness. I can get a thrill from the fainting spells. I can love starvation.

So why do I keep ruining it?

I told myself 47 days, so 47 days I will do. Consecutively. My raw throat makes me sound like I'm sick, so I can use that as an excuse to have no appetite and make it through this 4th of July weekend. I will not eat any disgusting hot dogs. I solemnly swear.

I was planning to resurrect some old posts I'd made about fasting to share with those of you who are also fasting or would just like some info, but now I feel totally unqualified to offer any advice on it. Maybe after I've made it through a solid week on just water I'll get my confidence back.