Friday, January 6, 2012

Don't Let's Eat Tonight

Day two of the fast is going well. I did have a glass of wine last night, but since no chewing was involved, I'm going to let it go. I just love how tipsy I get when I'm not eating. I'm going out in a bit, too. So there might be a little more drinking involved. A girl's gotta have some fun! And booze is always better than food.

Fasting again feels so good. I've been restricting pretty heavily for a long time, but it's just not the same as the complete control of simply not eating. I feel so calm. All of the usual anxiety revolving around food and everything else melts away, and I'm left with such a clear mind. I just feel like I could do anything. And I just might.

I had a lot of interesting comments on the last post before my hiatus. Lots of really nice, supportive comments. And then some really nasty ones. To be honest, having a bunch of anonymous posters getting all puffed up over my blog makes me feel like something of a blogger rock star. Also, I am not dead. Thanks for the concern though.

I got an email from a producer for the Dr. Phil Show. And since I like to be able to give a voice to this community that presents it in a more positive and accurate light than many other voices do (as evidenced by our anonymous commenters), I did a little phone interview with him. He's very nice, very non-judgmental, and seemed to genuinely want to learn the truth about this twisted little world. They are apparently still looking for someone who would be willing to go on the show and talk about her experiences in the pro-ana world. I value my anonymity way too much to do that, but if any of you would like to, just let me know and I will pass on his contact info. I think sharing our story is a good thing to do, if you are brave enough to let the whole world in.

Maybe it's my phone sex operator instincts, but something about talking to a strange man on the phone makes me want to seduce him. I refrained from doing that tonight - probably highly inappropriate and totally hot. I think I'll have to do something about this itch tonight before the fast dries me up.

Goodnight, girlies. Have a fun Friday night! <3


  1. The unknown persons who leave unpleasant messages are idiots!
    Good news if your morale clears up, I shall like having your secret...
    Otherwise for the fast congratulation, I admire you that a lot! And a small glass of wine it is so good!

  2. I've had that once or twice on my blog. I'm sorry but I can't just start eating the 2000 calorie normality of a regular person and be okay with that. Last week I ate half of what they eat and beat myself up over it. 1000 calories for one day only. I couldn't do double for the rest of my life and mindlessly eat it.
    If he decides to do a segment on pro-ana then I'll definitely watch it. I'm not entirely sure what they would make of it but I'm sure there will be many misinterpretations that I and many others will get mad about.

    Anyway, a glass of wine is perfectly fine. It's not chewing so it really doesn't count.

    I'm happy to see that your feeling great today. When I did a nearly two day fast (would do it longer if situations were different) I felt like I had even more energy than when I ate. I was literally running all day burning off nothing but water.

    That's one of the reasons why I worry over the people I fallow. If they suddenly disappear then I start to wonder if they really did pass away. This is coming from the girl who worries too much and always thinks of the worst outcomes.

    Take care lovely. I know you will do fantastic today.

  3. Dr. Phil's producer has contacted quite a number of people recently. Interesting - exploitive?

  4. Fasting feels sooooo good. Such a light feeling!
    Good luck re-beginning your journey!

  5. Hey Eva you haven't updated for a month, are you still alive? Also, how is the fast going?

  6. Hey, just wanted to let you know that I've spent the last few hours just reading through your archives. Best of luck with wherever you are in your journey now, and I'm excited to see where you go from here. Hope you start updating again soon--it's been over two months. :(

  7. Hey, Eva. Please stop posting, then disappearing, then posting again. It really worries us. We care about you, you know. Just because you had a mess up doesn't mean you have to hide in shame! We understand and we will always take you back.

    So please stop disappearing off the face of the Earth between every post.


  8. hey eva i really hope you are ok,,please let us know its been a year,,i basically read your entire blog in past couple of days and i really wish i had been there when it was active,,there arnt many active proana blogs these days that i like please post something im having trouble droping last few pounds these days and i would really appreciate some motivation :) reply plz

  9. Please you dont need to worry about calories, you are a beatiful person and you are lucky to have so much food, if you feel like the scale is too high, then talk to someone and see if they agree with you. Be as beatiful as you should be, but keep your body healthy too.