Surprisingly I still lost a half a pound with yesterday's failure. I decided not to start the day count over. The white coating on my tongue didn't disappear and I still have to struggle to stand up and not pass out. I feel like my fasting and weight loss hasn't been totally compromised and I should move forward.
My method for avoiding dinner involves finding ways to avoid being home at night. Barnes and Noble is my favorite hiding place. I can go and find all the books on eating disorders in the supposed Recovery section and read through them sipping on my ice water. There are so many great books on this subject now, and I haven't even read Wasted yet.
Today I read Dying to be Thin. There is a lot of crap written by these two doctors that comes out very dry and feels like being talked down to. I skip all of that mumbo jumbo for the accounts written by the patients, which is a large part of the book. It's nice that there are a variety of different sorts of people all dealing with it in different ways. But it's amazing that I can relate to all of them and feel for all of them. I especially loved Karen's tale of anorexia and the way she writes. I do recommend this book.
The last time I sat in Barnes and Noble for four hours, I read Distorted. I read almost the entire thing, which I'm pretty sure might be frowned upon. Anywho, it was the account of a girl struggling mostly with bulimia from the perspective of both the girl and her mother. The two diverging points of view on the exact same events were interesting and definitely thought provoking. I don't ever want to put my family through the hardship of saving me from this. I'm so thankful that I'm usually far away and can keep my crazy from them. Book also recommended.
In case anyone needed some reading material. I find them to be a very good way of keeping myself motivated. I'll keep you updated on what I read during future Barnes and Noble getaways.
I feel like there are other things I wanted to say. I can think of none, so I'm off to bed. <3