Still starving. Last night I had a food dream. During my last fast I had them all the time. I dreamed of eating and breaking my fast and then I would feel so guilty in my dream. The dreams were always so vivid and felt so real and when I woke up I would still have the guilty feeling with me. It was actually helpful because it definitely made me not want to cheat.
In my dream last night, I was eating something really gross from a mall food court. Ew. It's strange that I could dream of all sorts of amazing food, but my crazy mind chooses to dream of really crappy french fries. Oh well, I'm not feeling tempted in the least. I wish I could weigh though. Waiting a week is tortorous!
I'm already having to juggle my weekend to avoid spending too much time with anyone. It totally sucks. Last week my boyfriend was really trying to feed me, which he doesn't normally do. I'm afraid he's already suspicious.
Yesterday I did some research on extended water fasts. I read about people doing water fasts for 90 days. Geeze. There was a guy who weighed like 400 pounds and got down to 200. Isn't that amazing, just three months to completely change your life. After 3-5 days, your body stops actually feeling hungry. Any hunger or cravings will just be spychological. Apparently, you won't have any hunger pains until your body runs out of fat to burn. There are people who water fast until every single pound of fat is gone. That sounds so cool. I wish I had the freedom to do that, but I'd pretty much have to abandon all of my relationships.
Anyway, your comments are truly wonderful. I'm so thankful to be a member of this community. You keep me strong! <3
I should just print out your posts and carry them with me. Last night I wanted a tablespoon of pom seeds and I was like "Jesus you fat cow, Eva is still fasting, and you can't even think about going without some fruit?!"
ReplyDeleteYour so strong! I'm glad even your subconscious is helping you. Ugh fries. Gross.
I'm sorry, I have to post again. I used the wrong *you're* and it soo bothered me.
ReplyDeleteBut just so this isn't a wasted comment, would you remind me why you aren't weighing again? Is it part of the fasting or because you don't have access to a scale?
Eva, you're AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, your resolve is incredible~ Some people water fast for 90 days?! Man, I would kill to have that kind of strength. And you keep us strong too :)
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