Day Twelve of Juice

Today was very uneventful. I had to work on this enormous paper I have to do for class since I procrastinated all weekend. But thankfully I got most of it done and I still have all of tomorrow to work on the rest.

I got some orange juice at Whole Foods yesterday and it tastes so incredible. I can tell that my tastes have changed because I don't think orange juice would have tasted so good to me a couple weeks ago. It's even helping satisfy me when I start getting a craving for just about any thing to eat. I haven't watered it down quite as much as I have my other juices. I just really need some flavor and I still only had about 50 calories today.

I don't think I'll be able to weigh myself until Friday which will make it almost an entire week. I can't wait to see how much I'll have lost. I've been losing about a pound a day, though sometimes a bit less. Still, it's pretty dramatic progress. I have such a long way to go, but I feel like I can make it.

I've been trying to figure out what my plan will be after my fast. I can only avoid eating out with my boyfriend for so long and a friend of mine even commented on me not eating. So I'm thinking about doing a very restricted diet, though actually eating. Maybe like 300 or 400 calories a day. Then giving myself a break if my boyfriend wants to take me out, which should only be like once a week tops. We have this really romantic Valentine's Day dinner planned where we're both going to cook for each other and I'm so excited about it I can hardly stand it. So my fast ends just in time (the 6th) for me to start back eating slowly and be ready for an actual meal on the 14th.

Sometimes not eating feels so hard, but days keep going by and I keep not eating. I feel sick to my stomach so often it makes it a lot easier not to eat. And I really never actually feel hungry at all. I just feel like eating a lot. But I am just going to keep trekking. I know I can do this. I found a new thinspiration too. They are playing marathons of America's Next Top Model on cable. I can just watch beautiful girls to distract myself, especially if I'm having a boring day.

My cravings have gotten so bad that I've actually started dreaming about food. Isn't that crazy? Thankfully my dreams have been so vivid and in every one I have gorged myself on all this disgusting food and felt so horrible and guilty afterward. And just tremendously upset with myself for ruining my fast. I always get so concerned about what I'm going to do to purge it and take it back. I usually wake up still feeling guilty and then feel such a rush of relief that it was only a bad dream. So my dreams really aren't tempting me. It's almost like they get the desire to binge out of my system without all of it having to happen. If I got to bed wanting food, I wake up wanting to starve.

Jena, thank you so much for the tip about those Chromium Piccolate capsules. I will definitely check them out. Though I am a little hesitant to take any sort of pills because my stomach has been really sensitive since I've been depriving it so much. But in less then three weeks I'll be back to eating food and this would be fantastic.

I promise I'll be posting more! No more lazy blogging!

<3<3